Whither, fishies?

Something dreadful has happened.

The club assembled at Prunhilda’s house to discuss a possible trip to the nearby town of Wendigo, in pursuit of some blank Betamax cassettes.

Our beloved Aquarium appears to have caught fire, and has been reduced to a pile of feebly burning sticks.

We had just settled down and turned on the television, when to our horror we discovered that our beloved Aquarium had been replaced with burning stick footage.

Please know…

I sympathize with the pyro enthusiasts, but we are an aquatic people.


I was sufficiently incensed to compose an email.

It read as follows:

Dear Cable Provider:

I have a question. My friends and I enjoy the aquarium that appears on channel 1, but it appears to have morphed into a campfire. Is there any chance the fishies will swim again?

Thank you for being our cable provider!

Yours in pessimism

the Aquarium Channel Fan Club

We are waiting/ meditating upon a reply. Waiting is, as they say.


Visiting Buffet Chalet

This wasn’t a meeting proper; we all just happened to be hanging out at Clyde’s house, when his mum suddenly decided that we had “broken the sound barrier”, which makes no sense, but whatever.

We adjourned to Buffet Chalet, and shared amongst ourselves the following:

Toast Fingers (plus Toppingz)

Steamed Lettuce

Gluten Newtons

Side Order (without corn)

one Strawberry Strange

one Chocolate Strange

Perhaps I should explain about Strange. The official soft drink of Buffet Chalet is Professor Strange, a radish flavoured soda bottled here in town. It was created by Professor Quantum Strange.

At Buffet Chalet, a Strawberry Strange is a float made with Professor Strange soda and a scoop of strawberry Ice cream. Professor Q Strange is engaged in an ongoing dispute with a comic book company over the rights to his name, with regards to the licensing of his radish soda.

Maybard suggested that we charge our order to “club expenses”. Although he had the support of 80% of the club, Prunhilda started making noises, pointing out that we HAVE no treasury. A lively debate ensued. Prunhilda asked Maybard to “stop being a blockhead”. The Buffet Chalet staff asked us to take our business elsewhere.

Meeting adjourned!


Club Minutes June 2020


Chartreuse; Clyde;  Maybard; Prunhilda; Theona.


  1. We have a club!
  1. Officer elections!

PRESIDENT: Chartreuse

[which is QUITE a ripoff, since Prunhilda practically INVENTED the club, but Chartreuse is the oldest, so there you go. She secured 3 out of 5 votes; Clyde has proven himself treacherous.]


[How did this happen? These New Sibs on the Block have hijacked our club. Usurpers!]

TREASURER: Prunhilda

[a conciliatory gesture, but Prunie is so scrupulous that the assignment is perfectly apropos]


[Clyde is the only one of us who has a Betamax machine. Everyone else in town has a VCR.]


[yours truly] 


Clyde proposed that we all spend as much time as possible searching on the World Wide Web for blank Betamax cassette tapes.

Maybard proposed that we all spend as much time as possible hitchhiking to nearby towns in pursuit of blank Betamax cassette tapes.

Prunhilda proposed that we attempt to compile a list of all the fish that appear in the Aquarium.  We have so far identified the following:

Little Yellow

Big Yellow Fishie

Little Blue

Other Little Blue

Big Stripey



Half Purple

Wee l’il Skinny

We debated [bitterly argued] about one particular orange fish with grey and black markings. Among the proposed names:

Partly Orange



Sweater Vest

The debate was declared unresolved [Prunhilda’s mum told us we had to go outside if we were “going to have a wrestling match”.]

Meeting adjourned!